Life with Dave and Erma

how we feel about that

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. Dave Barry

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. Erma Bombeck

DO's and Don't's

Never accept a drink from a urologist. Erma Bombeck

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry

Fashion Statements

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Dave Barry

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes. Erma Bombeck

Personal accomplishments

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. Erma Bombeck

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. Dave Barry