Our new DUI laws

The powers to be in South Carolina are revamping the law designed to stop repeat DUI offenders. I have to admit to having mixed emotions. This certainly sounds like good news on the surface but, like many other things, the plan contains at least one point that makes no sense to me. I suppose I should tell you up front that I use to have a liking for alcoholic beverages. I can’t count the times I decided I was just as capable to drive, if not more so, after tossing down a “few”. It is only by the grace of God that I didn’t kill myself or someone else in those days. Back then I didn’t worry about the punishment should I get caught because, while under the influence of alcohol, I was convinced I was a first class driver and getting caught only happened to others who couldn’t handle their drink. I believed this, in spite of waking up in my bed wondering how I got home or even worse, waking up in the car outside the house. I guess it goes without saying why I needed to quit and as I look back now I can only be grateful nothing serious happened and amazed I didn’t get caught and lose my license. Our new law is going to crack down on people like the one I use to be and repeat offenders are going to have to have a breathalyzer installed in their vehicle. They will have to blow into the device and any measurement over .02% alcohol will insure the car won‘t start. It will cost the repeat offender $90 per month for this device. That money is going into in a fund to help others who can’t afford one. This is where the new law and I part ways. Is it just me or does anyone else see a problem with this part of the new law. They are basically saying some repeat offenders can afford enough alcoholic beverages to continually get drunk and afford a vehicle in which to get caught driving but they can‘t afford the breathalyzer. I guess all their money goes for booze, car payments and insurance. Here’s a thought. If you can’t afford the machine, don’t drink or don’t drive. I’m not totally heartless so if you insist you can not afford the breathalyzer my plan would be to give you one of those cute little ankle bracelets designed, not to track you, but to release a chemical into your blood stream that, when mixed with over .02% alcohol makes you puke like a sea sick sailor. Immediately following this attack of nausea will be a severe case of diarrhea. The combination of the two will purge your system of alcohol so you will be sober enough to drive even though you may be too weak. I know this sounds severe and if you don’t like my solution to this problem, you definitely won’t like my solution to our prison systems over crowded death rows.